Best “Out of Office” Automatic Replies

I’m taking a break from work for a few weeks, and even though I *won’t* be enabling an “out of office” reply, if I did, it might look something like this…

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to
get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the
office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at
all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain
removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me
until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will
be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for
the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is
unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try
sending again.

(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many
in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in
approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC
for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as “Wendy” instead of “Will”.

(I have no idea where this list orginated, it’s been doing the email rounds)

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